Yesterday there was a comment, and when I clicked to see it, it just vanished! I'm sorry, especially since I have no idea who sent it or what it said :(. So thank you, whoever you are!!
LOVED your post *O Tiny One*! It really spoke of what is going on in my own soul and I think it is more universal that I originally thought. The longing is there in myself. It is not impossible at my age...just highly unlikely...and there is a whole grieving process one goes through when one realizes it.
When I think of all the tiny ones be disposed of like garbage, it truly breaks my heart. So many couples out there that can't conceive even one child and would love to adopt. God have mercy on us.
Yes Nancy. I have no idea if I will ever hold a tiny one of my own, but I can spiritually adopt a hundred little ones. Thank you for your beautiful words.
Nancy, this is so touching, so meaningful, so profound! I love how you say that your desire to hold is a call from God for prayer. I will remember that every time I am drawn to hold, to cling, to embrace anyone-that my desire for that is really God speaking to me. How wonderful!
I work at an inner-city hospital for the WIC program. Our hospital has begun a beautiful thing-every time a baby is born chimes ring out throughout the hospital. It is such a wonderful reminder to offer a prayer of gratitude for new life.
Thank you for all of the wonderful words you share! You bless!
Isn't it mysterious and yet so beautiful, that 'knowing' that God is with you? Feeling with complete certainty that Jesus is present during your prayer? God is so generous with His Presence. I wonder if those moments are given to us so that we will recognize His voice when He calls to us in our final moments.
Nancy, I love the picture of a lighthouse you posted a few days ago - very pretty! A lighthouse is comfort, serenity, and security. I'd quite like to live in one.
I wanted to tell you: one night last week I was listening to late night talk radio. I dialled randomly through the stations, and one of the only ones that came through clearly was a Christian station from the US. Guess what they were talking about? Lectio! They used different terminology of course as they weren't Catholic, but they outlined the steps and explained the process. If they only knew!
Tess, I am struck by what you said about recognizing Our Lord's voice in our final moments. And how amazing that you found a Christian (not specifically) Catholic radio station talking about LECTIO!
I'd lpve to live in a lighthouse also - have had secret dreams about doing so for as long as I can remember! :) I absolutely love them.
Hi Nancy~Your blog and this post are beautiful...music to my soul:) Thank you for visiting my place so I could find you! I love your door analogy in this post...ever so true. I am always looking for props so it doesn't slam shut in my face;-) God bless you for sharing your heart!
This was so wonderful and beautiful to read. Your quote at the end reminds me of a talk I heard on St. John of the Cross, in which he said something to the affect of our own ideas and ideas of God are not enough, and nothing compared with experiencing God Himself. That at some point, in prayer and our spiritual life, we must do away with our own concepts, and make room (open the door) for God to come to us as He is. As Himself.
"But it can be hard to keep a door open, especially if it's only slightly ajar. Its natural tendency may be to swing closed." This is often my struggle in Lectio, Nancy..I love this post and found great helps I'll put to practice tomorrow! +
I had such a struggle keeping my mind concentrated in prayer with scripture yesterday, and thought "here I am, holding the door open again!" Or trying to!!
Yesterday at uni we had a beautiful lecture on Adult Faith Formation and it danced around the different style, types, flavours etc. It was about what makes good faith formation for us and for others, what we as individual find stimulating else unstimulating. It was about us understanding that we are not the Messiah, that God is the One working in people lives, us at times the facilitator. We have to know our limitations and that we are just to journey with our fellow pilgrims and that we should allow God to work in their lives, in His/their time scale. Todays post reminded me of a very special thought which our lecturer gave us about our facilitators role, that when we feel we are not reaching out effectively, else that our facilitation is ineffective, it was so precisely about leaving the door open and not to close it behind us. Gods work in others is often invisible to our naked human eye. The door left open is often a door that the inspired pass through either in their own time, else before they even put their foot over the physical threshold.
Your post spoke to me today of fortitude. Fortitude much needed under todays weight, holding everything in a tension, good and bad, light and dark, busy and still where His yoke is light where my utter tiredness is all heavy. Thank you.
Oh St. Stephen. I don't think I've ever slowed down enough to see his heart in these passages, so bravely defending the gospel and dying for love of Christ. I hardly ever speak as boldly as I should. I believe, but I often shy away from making that known. St. Stephen pray for me, that I might daringly declare Christ.
Given our times and all that is going on around us, I think we need St Stephen and his intercession more than ever so that we may "daringly defend Christ" and His Church. Thanks for writing about this great saint, Nancy.
Angela, that's beautiful - slowing down enough to see St. Stephen's heart. Nancy, you have revealed him to me in a way I never saw him before. This is yet another reminder to be present in this moment, perform the duty given to me right now, and to accept the gift that God has given me in my vocation. Bearing it all with joy? St. Stephen, pray for me!
Todays post reminded me of a line from a poem I once wrote.
“It doesn’t matter how hard I try to extinguish Your Will, A candle lighting another candle looses nothing in its quest, Until in Your perpetual light I rest.”
I Love candle light, the way the wax is softened and moulded and sculptured like us by Him. †
I love that song you posted. We sang a choral arrangement of it in the youth choir at my church in high school many times, and it was nice to see it here. The sentiments expressed by the words always struck me, especially when I had friends who were hurting.
Thank you, Christina Therese. This song has been significant to me also. So I guess that makes two of us who have been glad to find an "old musical friend!" I was delighted to find it on YouTube.
Nancy..I loved the blog.. To Live This Day for God... I am a visual person and the image there of the women sitting at her table where she is obviously in the middle of some sewing and looking into the Heavens with her hands folded in prayer says so much to me. I am wondering what it was that she was remembering to pray about, or did a worry of some kind overtake her and fill her with concern so much so that she had to stop immediately what she was doing to approach her Heavenly Father about it. It also shows me that we can all work our day, our duties, our interests with God ever present, and at any moment we can run to Him in prayer no matter where we are or what we are doing...and He is there for us ready to listen, to answer or to reassure us.
I find it interesting that sometimes when I am doing Lectio and I am conscience of what the Lord is telling me..it is like a two by four up side the head and then other times I have to strain and struggle to hear His gentle whisper..in those times I find it helps to go back over it and read it again slowly or even read it out loud..I am loving this new found way of reading and praying the scriptures and truly learning how to hear God's words in my heart...This is such a blessing..
May you all have a beautiful and blessed Thanksgiving. We all have so much to be thankful for. I, for one, thank God for my Cloistered Heart family and Nancy for being so generous in giving her "fiat" to God when led to start The Cloisterd Heart..God Bless us all..
Your blog has touched my heart. I feel you have been led by Jesus to bring others to Him. If you had not gone down this path, you would not have the experience to lead others. It is so awesome to understand the cloistered heart behind the grill and to keep that thought in our daily life, knowing Jesus is always our end and intimately involved in our life if we let Him. You are living the cloistered life and are beautifully consecrated to Him. I am a mom of 6,grandmother of 13, who was raised in a Carmelite parish. I got married and went to other parishes but always needed something more. After many years and thanks to my Dad and a dear friend,I have returned to Carmel and a deeper spirituality, one with St Teresa of Avila, St John of the Cross and St Therese of Lisieux. Jesus brought me home and you have brought confirmation and joy to my heart. Thank you.
Thank you so much. I am grateful for all the ways God has led me, especially through those times when I got "sidetracked." I have a feeling I'll be sharing more about these in future, in bits and pieces, perhaps.
Thank God that He has brought us BOTH to where He wanted us!
Nancy, Thanks for sharing your story with us. Scripture played a great part in my own return to the faith. We really do meet God there in a very personal way. In the Gospels, Jesus does seem to come right off the pages. God bless and a happy and blessed Thanksgiving to you and your family.
Thank you, Karinann. Yes, He does step right out of the pages and into our hearts, doesn't He? And the best part is He STAYS with us!! God bless you too, and a happy Thanksgiving to all! (... I feel I should be adding "and to all, a goodnight":).. !).
The story of your call moved me so very much - I found many things in it similar to my own story, that persistent, nagging "thing" that doesn't leave you alone, the fear, the attempt to ignore it - but, as my spiritual director told me, if it won't leave you alone, it's probably God's will and not just your own notion. And I think, perhaps, like you, I am not called to the cloister after all (I did try), but I feel strongly moved to live a life of prayer, to be a contemplative in the world. I'm so glad I literally stumbled upon your blog (and I can't remember exactly how I did)! I think, in finding it, God is confirming this need to continue praying the Office and to devote my life to Him.
I'm so glad you've stumbled into this little cloistered corner! I've just visited your blog, and will definitely be back to read your vocation story in its entirety. I love how you've organized the links so they can be read sequentially. Thank you, and thanks be to God!
What a precious story, Nancy...Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Isn't it amazing how the Lord brings us round full circle..allowing us to peek back and realize His hand was moving providentially all along. Blessings and +
The Call...how beautiful, penetrating...it was if I was there with you. I envy you and reading the Gospels. We are studying Teresa Benedicta in Carmel now, and she was talking about how people are depressed with the Gospels because they can't see how it reflects in their own life. That is still me. I see Him in other areas and places...scripture still alludes me. Your story is so touching....a love story!
Jen, thank you. A love story - yes, and it's good for me to be reminded of that!
I don't find reflections of my own life in the Gospels either; not much, anyway. It's in the epistles where I find that, for in those I can identify with various passages. Especially Philippians and 2nd Timothy (they help me a lot in times of struggle).
Nothing later has ever been, for me, like that very first reading of the Gospel of John. I was reading along and actually none of the words (nor those of the Gospels I'd read before) seemed to be "penetrating" my head at all. It was as if I was reading glfh kle yrt, but somehow continued to be compelled to read MORE glfh kle yrt!! And then - all of a sudden - it seemed that the very Jesus I was reading about was in the room with me. And there is no "seemed" to it, because it was suddenly true. I just knew it. I saw no visions, heard no literal in-the-ears voices. But somehow I utterly KNEW He was there. Here.
Nancy, I hung onto every word! Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful love story between Our Lord and you. I especially love how you felt Him calling to you at your Catholic school. I experienced something similar...that pull toward the chapel and the Blessed Sacrament. I can't imagine you doing more wonderful work for the Lord than you do by sharing so much with all of us. You are such a blessing and JOY.... I'm so grateful that you found me so that I could find you!
Thank you, Patricia, for such kind words. I plucked a leaf once from a flower arrangement at the bottom of the stairs-to-the-chapel (it was on a wide windowsill) and put that leaf in my scrapbook. I remains taped there to this day, as a momento of the pull I felt. Obviously keeping such a thing was a sign of a wonderful if scary sense of call!
Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL Nancy...One thing that drew me to the mystics, contemplative prayer, etc, was because, to me, it was nothing more than a love story. I was being sought after, in a very romantic way, by Someone who could love me beyond my wildest dreams (I often felt like that got in the way of the love between my husband and I, but have come to find it only enhances it). The Song of Songs, still, to this day, pierces my heart because it's the first thing I read that fit that "romantic" feeling I was getting a nudge towards. When I started as an Aspirant over three years ago in Carmel, when I opened the bible, this was the first thing my eyes fell on:
Song of Songs 2:10-13, My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away; for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.
Ahh, the Song of Songs! It pierces my heart also; in fact, I once memorized the first chapter and into the second. It has formed part of my store of "portable lectio material" (as I mentioned earlier in the blog), and this was what I was praying once while in an MRI tube. My brain was being scanned, and I wondered later if areas "lit up" that showed a lively conversation going on :)!! Unfortunately, I've forgotten a lot of what I'd memorized, but this might be just the nudge I need to refresh my memory.
What you quoted from SOS are my favorite verses in the book... and certainly they're among my tip-top favorites in the whole Bible.
Words whispered in my heart. You think that you are building my Church With all your hectic activity. You are hindering my work. All I want, All I need, Is for you to Come and stand At the foot of my Son's Cross. Let the fire of His Love Pierce your Heart, Transforming you into His Presence on Earth .
Loved your conversion story. Or is it reversion? I am a revert, too and feel incredibly blessed to have had the grace to dig deeply into my Catholic faith and encounter God so many times. Life without letting Him into my heart was unbearably lonely.
I guess I would call it "reversion," especially when I think back to my earliest days of loving Jesus (in first grade, in Catholic school... I was from an unchurched" family, so knew very little about Him before then). Like you, I encountered God many times. The one that (thank God) stuck was this time after my years of not believing He was real at all. I wonder if I had to see so much darkness in order to truly believe in and appreciate the Light?
Nancy, you brought me back to my years at Mt. Sinai Hospital School of Nursing when I felt God tugging at my heart, but thought a life of prayer, commitment and God, which I was called to, meant a convent. I was drawn to the Carmelites and even wrote to a Carmelite Monastery in Brooklyn and received a beautiful letter back, which scared me by suggesting a visit.
Long story from there, but like you, a Life in the Spirit Seminar brought new light and direction years later. Thank God for the still, small, persistent voice.
You are on fire lately Nancy with these AMAZING posts! It is saturated with the Holy Spirit! I was just speaking with a friend yesterday, who is discerning a deeper spiritual life within Carmel (secular), and when she was in my home she said that it's so hard for her with the noise in her house. She has such trouble with it, and she doesn't understand why. I giggled mainly because I saw her contemplative side lamenting, because she seeks the interior silence of Him. Which only confirmed more what she feels she's being called/nudged to.
I often think, if I had not converted so late to Catholicism, and had the problems I had as a teenager/young adult, that I would have seriously considered religious life. When I go to visit my spiritual director at the friary (wonderful Franciscan friar...Fr. Joe...can you keep him your prayers?), I literally never want to leave..the halls are so quiet, the chapel beautiful...the whole place is just stepped in that contemplative atmosphere that I long for. However, this is where God wants me, and I can't help but wonder sometimes if I am to nurture what I know into my children. My oldest is showing signs of that same contemplative spirit, and she has a sensitive conscience. I would never push religious life on any of them, but I wonder...if perhaps that might be part of His plan instead. I must go now..the 2 year old is awake...the bell has rung!
Nancy, I love your blog! I've often noticed that in books about nuns or monks leaving the cloister temporarily to do God's work or go to the hospital, etc., the authors seldom describe the contrast you speak about. I would think that after keeping silence for so long, and living simply, walking into any public place would be trying. Even after living in a foreign country for two years, I found my senses overloaded with sights and sounds when I returned to the U.S. Being able to instantly understand all the signs, newspapers, and background noise was too much. I just wanted to stay home. I can't imagine a cloistered monk or nun wouldn't feel the same.
It just takes a glance within to connect to Love, Joy and a deep peace, doesn't it? I felt sure that God had called me to religious life when he drew me into the Catholic church. All the words and images He gave me were of a bride, entering the Church but He had other plans. Catherine de Heuck Doherty(http://www.catherinedoherty.org/) called it Poustinia in the Marketplace.One of the Madonna House staff told me, "He has given both lives at the same time, a family as well as a poustinic lifestyle." I could weep for joy
Jen, what you said about seeing your friend's contemplative side lamenting makes me think of what a friend of my own has said about the Martha and Mary sides of her. I envision your friend's heart sitting at the feet of Jesus, choosing the Better Portion, even while her body is surrounded by "so many things." And Father Joe (and his friary) sound(s) wonderful! I am happy to pray for him. And thank you for speaking of saturation with the Holy Spirit - there is nothing I'd rather hear, ever.
Connie, you said something that never would have occurred to me... that when you could once again understand all the signs, etc., your senses were overloaded. What an insight into how a cloistered person may feel if she has to leave her monastery. I'm reminded of how I sometimes like to pray with soft monastic chant in the background - but only if it's in Latin. Which is because I don't understand the words. Latin remains in the background and does not interject thoughts that, even if they're holy, may not keep me on the track God is leading me on that day.
Melanie, I LOVE "Poustinia!" The whole concept of Poustinia in the marketplace is something I find wonderful (but I suppose that isn't surprising, huh?!). I like your reminder that it just takes a glance within to connect to Love and Joy and Peace... to the Savior Who is in our souls by His amazing grace. Again: "Mary choosing the Better Portion," even while externally we must be attentive to many things!
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Yesterday there was a comment, and when I clicked to see it, it just vanished! I'm sorry, especially since I have no idea who sent it or what it said :(. So thank you, whoever you are!!
ReplyDeleteLOVED your post *O Tiny One*! It really spoke of what is going on in my own soul and I think it is more universal that I originally thought. The longing is there in myself. It is not impossible at my age...just highly unlikely...and there is a whole grieving process one goes through when one realizes it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think of all the tiny ones be disposed of like garbage, it truly breaks my heart. So many couples out there that can't conceive even one child and would love to adopt. God have mercy on us.
Thank you, Theresa. May God have mercy on us, indeed.
ReplyDeleteYes Nancy. I have no idea if I will ever hold a tiny one of my own, but I can spiritually adopt a hundred little ones. Thank you for your beautiful words.
ReplyDeletere: "O Tiny One"
ReplyDeleteNancy, this is so touching, so meaningful, so profound! I love how you say that your desire to hold is a call from God for prayer. I will remember that every time I am drawn to hold, to cling, to embrace anyone-that my desire for that is really God speaking to me. How wonderful!
I work at an inner-city hospital for the WIC program. Our hospital has begun a beautiful thing-every time a baby is born chimes ring out throughout the hospital. It is such a wonderful reminder to offer a prayer of gratitude for new life.
Thank you for all of the wonderful words you share! You bless!
Thank you, Sarah and Anne. We are all blessed by each other here, aren't we? Thanks to everyone for this gathering of prayerful hearts.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it mysterious and yet so beautiful, that 'knowing' that God is with you? Feeling with complete certainty that Jesus is present during your prayer? God is so generous with His Presence. I wonder if those moments are given to us so that we will recognize His voice when He calls to us in our final moments.
ReplyDeleteNancy, I love the picture of a lighthouse you posted a few days ago - very pretty! A lighthouse is comfort, serenity, and security. I'd quite like to live in one.
I wanted to tell you: one night last week I was listening to late night talk radio. I dialled randomly through the stations, and one of the only ones that came through clearly was a Christian station from the US. Guess what they were talking about? Lectio! They used different terminology of course as they weren't Catholic, but they outlined the steps and explained the process. If they only knew!
Tess, I am struck by what you said about recognizing Our Lord's voice in our final moments. And how amazing that you found a Christian (not specifically) Catholic radio station talking about LECTIO!
DeleteI'd lpve to live in a lighthouse also - have had secret dreams about doing so for as long as I can remember! :) I absolutely love them.
Thank you for your lovely post about the Act of God!! He does let us know he is here
ReplyDeleteThank you. God is good!
DeleteHi Nancy~Your blog and this post are beautiful...music to my soul:) Thank you for visiting my place so I could find you! I love your door analogy in this post...ever so true. I am always looking for props so it doesn't slam shut in my face;-) God bless you for sharing your heart!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Tiffany, and I'm so glad you've come by the "parlor" :)!
DeleteThis was so wonderful and beautiful to read. Your quote at the end reminds me of a talk I heard on St. John of the Cross, in which he said something to the affect of our own ideas and ideas of God are not enough, and nothing compared with experiencing God Himself. That at some point, in prayer and our spiritual life, we must do away with our own concepts, and make room (open the door) for God to come to us as He is. As Himself.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jen. "As Himself".. that is what we desire!
Delete"But it can be hard to keep a door open, especially if it's only slightly ajar. Its natural tendency may be to swing closed." This is often my struggle in Lectio, Nancy..I love this post and found great helps I'll put to practice tomorrow! +
ReplyDeleteI had such a struggle keeping my mind concentrated in prayer with scripture yesterday, and thought "here I am, holding the door open again!" Or trying to!!
DeleteThanks so much.
Yesterday at uni we had a beautiful lecture on Adult Faith Formation and it danced around the different style, types, flavours etc. It was about what makes good faith formation for us and for others, what we as individual find stimulating else unstimulating. It was about us understanding that we are not the Messiah, that God is the One working in people lives, us at times the facilitator. We have to know our limitations and that we are just to journey with our fellow pilgrims and that we should allow God to work in their lives, in His/their time scale. Todays post reminded me of a very special thought which our lecturer gave us about our facilitators role, that when we feel we are not reaching out effectively, else that our facilitation is ineffective, it was so precisely about leaving the door open and not to close it behind us. Gods work in others is often invisible to our naked human eye. The door left open is often a door that the inspired pass through either in their own time, else before they even put their foot over the physical threshold.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post Nancy! Thank you for the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anne!
DeleteYour post spoke to me today of fortitude. Fortitude much needed under todays weight, holding everything in a tension, good and bad, light and dark, busy and still where His yoke is light where my utter tiredness is all heavy. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, friends!
ReplyDeleteOh St. Stephen. I don't think I've ever slowed down enough to see his heart in these passages, so bravely defending the gospel and dying for love of Christ. I hardly ever speak as boldly as I should. I believe, but I often shy away from making that known. St. Stephen pray for me, that I might daringly declare Christ.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Angela! I have always admired St. Stephen, but over these last few days I am seeking his intercession for the very things you said.
ReplyDeleteGiven our times and all that is going on around us, I think we need St Stephen and his intercession more than ever so that we may "daringly defend Christ" and His Church.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing about this great saint, Nancy.
Angela, that's beautiful - slowing down enough to see St. Stephen's heart. Nancy, you have revealed him to me in a way I never saw him before. This is yet another reminder to be present in this moment, perform the duty given to me right now, and to accept the gift that God has given me in my vocation. Bearing it all with joy? St. Stephen, pray for me!
ReplyDeleteThank you, friends, for such good insight. I, too, think we need St. Stephen's intercession very much at the present time. May he pray for all of us!
ReplyDeleteNancy...I'm so with you..There's no time to waste.. Off we go to live out this 'true Catholic moment" in our country..Blessings and +
ReplyDeleteJust glancing at your blog draws a person to His heart-it is rich, peaceful and inviting
ReplyDeleteYes, Caroline, we are "off and carrying the fire"... may God lead us in His grace. +
ReplyDeleteMelanie, what a kind thing to say! Thank you so much. +
ReplyDeleteTodays post reminded me of a line from a poem I once wrote.
“It doesn’t matter how hard I try to extinguish Your Will, A candle lighting another candle looses nothing in its quest, Until in Your perpetual light I rest.”
I Love candle light, the way the wax is softened and moulded and sculptured like us by Him. †
How true - a candle lighting another loses nothing! Lovely. I love candle light also :).
ReplyDeleteI love that song you posted. We sang a choral arrangement of it in the youth choir at my church in high school many times, and it was nice to see it here. The sentiments expressed by the words always struck me, especially when I had friends who were hurting.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Christina Therese. This song has been significant to me also. So I guess that makes two of us who have been glad to find an "old musical friend!" I was delighted to find it on YouTube.
ReplyDeleteNancy..I loved the blog.. To Live This Day for God...
ReplyDeleteI am a visual person and the image there of the women sitting at her table where she is obviously in the middle of some sewing and looking into the Heavens with her hands folded in prayer says so much to me. I am wondering what it was that she was remembering to pray about, or did a worry of some kind overtake her and fill her with concern so much so that she had to stop immediately what she was doing to approach her Heavenly Father about it. It also shows me that we can all work our day, our duties, our interests with God ever present, and at any moment we can run to Him in prayer no matter where we are or what we are doing...and He is there for us ready to listen, to answer or to reassure us.
I find it interesting that sometimes when I am doing Lectio and I am conscience of what the Lord is telling me..it is like a two by four up side the head and then other times I have to strain and struggle to hear His gentle whisper..in those times I find it helps to go back over it and read it again slowly or even read it out loud..I am loving this new found way of reading and praying the scriptures and truly learning how to hear God's words in my heart...This is such a blessing..
May you all have a beautiful and blessed Thanksgiving. We all have so much to be thankful for. I, for one, thank God for my Cloistered Heart family and Nancy for being so generous in giving her "fiat" to God when led to start The Cloisterd Heart..God Bless us all..
A blessed Thanksgiving to you also, Joy, and thank you for SUCH kind words!
DeleteYour blog has touched my heart. I feel you have been led by Jesus to bring others to Him. If you had not gone down this path, you would not have the experience to lead others. It is so awesome to understand the cloistered heart behind the grill and to keep that thought in our daily life, knowing Jesus is always our end and intimately involved in our life if we let Him. You are living the cloistered life and are beautifully consecrated to Him. I am a mom of 6,grandmother of 13, who was raised in a Carmelite parish. I got married and went to other parishes but always needed something more. After many years and thanks to my Dad and a dear friend,I have returned to Carmel and a deeper spirituality, one with St Teresa of Avila, St John of the Cross and St Therese of Lisieux. Jesus brought me home and you have brought confirmation and joy to my heart. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. I am grateful for all the ways God has led me, especially through those times when I got "sidetracked." I have a feeling I'll be sharing more about these in future, in bits and pieces, perhaps.
DeleteThank God that He has brought us BOTH to where He wanted us!
Nancy, thank you for this beautiful and heartfelt story! You moved me.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Anne!
DeleteNancy,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story with us. Scripture played a great part in my own return to the faith. We really do meet God there in a very personal way. In the Gospels, Jesus does seem to come right off the pages.
God bless and a happy and blessed Thanksgiving to you and your family.
Thank you, Karinann. Yes, He does step right out of the pages and into our hearts, doesn't He? And the best part is He STAYS with us!! God bless you too, and a happy Thanksgiving to all! (... I feel I should be adding "and to all, a goodnight":).. !).
DeleteThe story of your call moved me so very much - I found many things in it similar to my own story, that persistent, nagging "thing" that doesn't leave you alone, the fear, the attempt to ignore it - but, as my spiritual director told me, if it won't leave you alone, it's probably God's will and not just your own notion. And I think, perhaps, like you, I am not called to the cloister after all (I did try), but I feel strongly moved to live a life of prayer, to be a contemplative in the world. I'm so glad I literally stumbled upon your blog (and I can't remember exactly how I did)! I think, in finding it, God is confirming this need to continue praying the Office and to devote my life to Him.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you've stumbled into this little cloistered corner! I've just visited your blog, and will definitely be back to read your vocation story in its entirety. I love how you've organized the links so they can be read sequentially. Thank you, and thanks be to God!
DeleteWhat a precious story, Nancy...Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Isn't it amazing how the Lord brings us round full circle..allowing us to peek back and realize His hand was moving providentially all along.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and +
Thank you very much for looking in on my blog. I look forward to reading more of yours! God bless!
ReplyDeleteThank YOU, Leticia! God bless you too!
ReplyDeleteCaroline, I am often astonished at the full-circles I've seen in my own little life. The cloistered heart itself is filled with full-circles! :)
The Call...how beautiful, penetrating...it was if I was there with you. I envy you and reading the Gospels. We are studying Teresa Benedicta in Carmel now, and she was talking about how people are depressed with the Gospels because they can't see how it reflects in their own life. That is still me. I see Him in other areas and places...scripture still alludes me. Your story is so touching....a love story!
ReplyDeleteJen, thank you. A love story - yes, and it's good for me to be reminded of that!
ReplyDeleteI don't find reflections of my own life in the Gospels either; not much, anyway. It's in the epistles where I find that, for in those I can identify with various passages. Especially Philippians and 2nd Timothy (they help me a lot in times of struggle).
Nothing later has ever been, for me, like that very first reading of the Gospel of John. I was reading along and actually none of the words (nor those of the Gospels I'd read before) seemed to be "penetrating" my head at all. It was as if I was reading glfh kle yrt, but somehow continued to be compelled to read MORE glfh kle yrt!! And then - all of a sudden - it seemed that the very Jesus I was reading about was in the room with me. And there is no "seemed" to it, because it was suddenly true. I just knew it. I saw no visions, heard no literal in-the-ears voices. But somehow I utterly KNEW He was there. Here.
A love story indeed!
Nancy, I hung onto every word! Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful love story between Our Lord and you. I especially love how you felt Him calling to you at your Catholic school. I experienced something similar...that pull toward the chapel and the Blessed Sacrament. I can't imagine you doing more wonderful work for the Lord than you do by sharing so much with all of us. You are such a blessing and JOY.... I'm so grateful that you found me so that I could find you!
ReplyDeleteWith blessings and hugs....
Thank you, Patricia, for such kind words. I plucked a leaf once from a flower arrangement at the bottom of the stairs-to-the-chapel (it was on a wide windowsill) and put that leaf in my scrapbook. I remains taped there to this day, as a momento of the pull I felt. Obviously keeping such a thing was a sign of a wonderful if scary sense of call!
ReplyDeleteDear Nancy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for telling your story; it is truly a blessing.
~juanita
Thank YOU, Juanita!
DeleteBeautiful, BEAUTIFUL Nancy...One thing that drew me to the mystics, contemplative prayer, etc, was because, to me, it was nothing more than a love story. I was being sought after, in a very romantic way, by Someone who could love me beyond my wildest dreams (I often felt like that got in the way of the love between my husband and I, but have come to find it only enhances it). The Song of Songs, still, to this day, pierces my heart because it's the first thing I read that fit that "romantic" feeling I was getting a nudge towards. When I started as an Aspirant over three years ago in Carmel, when I opened the bible, this was the first thing my eyes fell on:
ReplyDeleteSong of Songs 2:10-13, My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away; for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.
Ahh, the Song of Songs! It pierces my heart also; in fact, I once memorized the first chapter and into the second. It has formed part of my store of "portable lectio material" (as I mentioned earlier in the blog), and this was what I was praying once while in an MRI tube. My brain was being scanned, and I wondered later if areas "lit up" that showed a lively conversation going on :)!! Unfortunately, I've forgotten a lot of what I'd memorized, but this might be just the nudge I need to refresh my memory.
DeleteWhat you quoted from SOS are my favorite verses in the book... and certainly they're among my tip-top favorites in the whole Bible.
Wow Nancy...I wonder if images did light up!!! You are awesome that you memorized a large chunk of it!
DeleteWhat struck me in the part I quoted was the end. "Arise my love, my fair one..."
My name is Jennifer, and it's Welsh meaning "fair one" :) I think He has a sense of humor too.
I have a similar call to yours
ReplyDeleteWords whispered in my heart.
You think that you are building my Church
With all your hectic activity.
You are hindering my work.
All I want,
All I need,
Is for you to
Come and stand
At the foot of my Son's Cross.
Let the fire of His Love
Pierce your Heart,
Transforming you into
His Presence on Earth .
Thank you for sharing this. Rich, wise, inspiring, beautiful, and true....
DeleteLoved your conversion story. Or is it reversion? I am a revert, too and feel incredibly blessed to have had the grace to dig deeply into my Catholic faith and encounter God so many times. Life without letting Him into my heart was unbearably lonely.
ReplyDeleteI guess I would call it "reversion," especially when I think back to my earliest days of loving Jesus (in first grade, in Catholic school... I was from an unchurched" family, so knew very little about Him before then). Like you, I encountered God many times. The one that (thank God) stuck was this time after my years of not believing He was real at all. I wonder if I had to see so much darkness in order to truly believe in and appreciate the Light?
DeleteNancy, you brought me back to my years at Mt. Sinai Hospital School of Nursing when I felt God tugging at my heart, but thought a life of prayer, commitment and God, which I was called to, meant a convent. I was drawn to the Carmelites and even wrote to a Carmelite Monastery in Brooklyn and received a beautiful letter back, which scared me by suggesting a visit.
ReplyDeleteLong story from there, but like you, a Life in the Spirit Seminar brought new light and direction years later. Thank God for the still, small, persistent voice.
Thank God, indeed! It seemed that many have thought that serious commitment to God meant convent life, with no other options. Thank you, Joann!
DeleteYou are on fire lately Nancy with these AMAZING posts! It is saturated with the Holy Spirit! I was just speaking with a friend yesterday, who is discerning a deeper spiritual life within Carmel (secular), and when she was in my home she said that it's so hard for her with the noise in her house. She has such trouble with it, and she doesn't understand why. I giggled mainly because I saw her contemplative side lamenting, because she seeks the interior silence of Him. Which only confirmed more what she feels she's being called/nudged to.
ReplyDeleteI often think, if I had not converted so late to Catholicism, and had the problems I had as a teenager/young adult, that I would have seriously considered religious life. When I go to visit my spiritual director at the friary (wonderful Franciscan friar...Fr. Joe...can you keep him your prayers?), I literally never want to leave..the halls are so quiet, the chapel beautiful...the whole place is just stepped in that contemplative atmosphere that I long for. However, this is where God wants me, and I can't help but wonder sometimes if I am to nurture what I know into my children. My oldest is showing signs of that same contemplative spirit, and she has a sensitive conscience. I would never push religious life on any of them, but I wonder...if perhaps that might be part of His plan instead. I must go now..the 2 year old is awake...the bell has rung!
Nancy, I love your blog! I've often noticed that in books about nuns or monks leaving the cloister temporarily to do God's work or go to the hospital, etc., the authors seldom describe the contrast you speak about. I would think that after keeping silence for so long, and living simply, walking into any public place would be trying. Even after living in a foreign country for two years, I found my senses overloaded with sights and sounds when I returned to the U.S. Being able to instantly understand all the signs, newspapers, and background noise was too much. I just wanted to stay home. I can't imagine a cloistered monk or nun wouldn't feel the same.
ReplyDeletehttp://contemplativehomeschool.wordpress.com
It just takes a glance within to connect to Love, Joy and a deep peace, doesn't it? I felt sure that God had called me to religious life when he drew me into the Catholic church. All the words and images He gave me were of a bride, entering the Church but He had other plans. Catherine de Heuck Doherty(http://www.catherinedoherty.org/) called it Poustinia in the Marketplace.One of the Madonna House staff told me, "He has given both lives at the same time, a family as well as a poustinic lifestyle." I could weep for joy
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, friends!
ReplyDeleteJen, what you said about seeing your friend's contemplative side lamenting makes me think of what a friend of my own has said about the Martha and Mary sides of her. I envision your friend's heart sitting at the feet of Jesus, choosing the Better Portion, even while her body is surrounded by "so many things." And Father Joe (and his friary) sound(s) wonderful! I am happy to pray for him. And thank you for speaking of saturation with the Holy Spirit - there is nothing I'd rather hear, ever.
Connie, you said something that never would have occurred to me... that when you could once again understand all the signs, etc., your senses were overloaded. What an insight into how a cloistered person may feel if she has to leave her monastery. I'm reminded of how I sometimes like to pray with soft monastic chant in the background - but only if it's in Latin. Which is because I don't understand the words. Latin remains in the background and does not interject thoughts that, even if they're holy, may not keep me on the track God is leading me on that day.
Melanie, I LOVE "Poustinia!" The whole concept of Poustinia in the marketplace is something I find wonderful (but I suppose that isn't surprising, huh?!). I like your reminder that it just takes a glance within to connect to Love and Joy and Peace... to the Savior Who is in our souls by His amazing grace. Again: "Mary choosing the Better Portion," even while externally we must be attentive to many things!